Monstrous Regiment is a Discworld novel by Sir Terry Pratchett that was originally published in 2003. It's one of my favorite books of all time, so I thought it would be the perfect subject for my first shrine on Neocities! WARNING: THIS PAGE WILL CONTAIN SPOILERS!
My first experience with Monstrous Regiment was listening to it as an audiobook when I was rather young. I don't know the exact date or my exact age, but I was definitely younger than the intended audience (late elementary to early middle school age). In 2023 I finally purchased a physical copy from a used bookstore, and I've already reread it multiple times. It was probably my first encounter with queer characters in fiction (regardless of what you think of Jackrum or Maladict's gender identities, Lofty and Tonker are explicitly in a sapphic relationship) and the first in an on-going trend of me favoring stories with a certain amount of gender-fuckery.
Polly my beloved! As a basic bitch, I am always a sucker for the main character and Polly is far from the exception to this rule. Polly's growth throughout the novel is truly wonderful to watch, and seeing her really come into her own is one of the most enjoyable parts of the book. I am also a sucker for main characters who come to realize that they aren't actually the main character, but rather a side character in a completely different story. Plus, I love Polly's "why does everyone keep telling me their secrets" energy while also being rather nosy. She's also a fun character to see the world through. The majority of the book is told through her perspective, and it's interesting to see her biases when it comes to describing the other characters or hinting at their motivations.
Maladict is one of my favorite characters ever, and not just because of their top tier Gender. (I'll be referring to Maladict with they/them pronouns on this page, although I definitely do not claim that these are the only pronouns Maladict can be referred to with. He/him and she/her are both completely valid interpretations, as even are neopronouns!) Maladict is a Little Shit(TM) trying so hard to be suave and cool only for their plans to be foiled when they are unexpectedly deprived of coffee and suddenly they are experiencing the Vietnam War and this Discworld war simultaneously. (That is one of the details that went completely over my head when I first listened to the book as a kid lol.) I always enjoyed their snark, their dynamic with Polly, and general vibes. They may be the origin of my love of the trope where a character with their shit together falls to pieces due to something outside their control. 10/10 vampire character I would have a crush on Maladict if they talked to me the way they talked to Polly.
I love it when someone who in all rights should be a main character is relegated to side character status because they simply have no rizz. Wazzer is Joan of Arc if Joan of Arc made everyone around her hella uncomfortable and went around saying that the most popular god to worship in France was dead and we love that for her. Wazzer is a facinating character to me for several reasons, but the main one is due to a scene where Polly is thinking about how the Girl's Working School and how different people react to its horrors and how Wazzer looked up out of her misery into the only smile she'd ever known, and that image really grabbed me because that's not actually reflective of Wazzer's relationship with the Duchess at all. It's more like Wazzer looked up into the only face that ever smiled at her and said to herself, "She must be in pain behind that just like me" and then offered the Duchess a listening ear when no one else thought to, and that is the aspect of Wazzer I find the most interesting. Truly an example of radical kindness in the face of terrible suffering on her part. I also love a religious character who has a slightly non-traditional relationship with her god. While it's true that Wazzer does pray to ask the Duchess for things, the center of their relationship seems to be Wazzer listening and being receptive to the Duchess. She also acknowledges that the Duchess is not a god, but rather something more akin to a ghost, although she does not put that into words until she is "possessed" by the Duchess towards the end of the novel.
I find Shufti to be a very interesting and underrated character who deserves more love! Sure, she's not the sharpest knife in the drawer, but she's funny and brave and an excellent cook and kinda bonkers. I mean, what kind of person finds out they're pregnant and decides to disguise themselves as a boy and join the army to track down their one-night stand? Obviously it's in part meant to be a commentary on the lack of options unmarried women had/have in society if they end up pregnant, but plenty of women would not go as far as Shufti did to track the father down. I'm also really interested by the fact that she ends up living at the Duchess with Polly in the end; it's one of those things where I know it was a smart decision not to actually show that conversation as it would have been unnecessary for the story, but I would still love to be a fly on the wall and see how that went down.
Lofty is what all quirky yet tragic side characters dream of being. She's a shy lesbian pyromaniac who dresses up like a boy to join the army and escape the evil Working School with her girlfriend. Every place she's ever worked at has burned down and she's the only character who's (confirmed to have) killed people before joining the Ins and Outs. She's a sexual assault survivor who had a child who was immeadiately taken away from her after she gave birth. Her greatest dream is to go to the theatre. After the book she and her girlfriend burn down the Working School and rob a bank. And she's a side character!! I think she can be easily overlooked in the face of Tonker's strong personality, but I really love Lofty's quiet bravery and intensity.
The butch lesbian of all time!!! It's easy to focus on Tonker's anger and violent tendencies, but to me the thing that stands out the most about her is her selfawareness. Sure, she is stubborn as all get out, and notably in denial about Wazzer's connection to the Duchess, but she acknowledges her lack of "middle gears" and quick temper. She's also incredibly blunt about her trauma and isn't about to soften her descriptions of things to make anyone fel better, which I respect the hell out of. Plus she's really protective of Lofty without ever infantilizing her and they're genuinely a very cute couple!
Igorina is an unproblematic queen who I would happily buy pretzels from any day of the week. She carries around he own (still growing) hair in a jar, does her best to heal people regardless of which side they're on, and becomes a soldier despite the fact that she hates weapons. I've always greatly enjoyed the Discworld Igors, and it was cool to learn more about their culture and gender politics. I also love the fact that Igorina seems to hang out most with Maladict, Jade, and, towards the end, Wazzer, aka the Weirdos (affectionate). Her reation to Strappi's attempts to torture her are also funny to picture. Queen of not letting the haters bother her.
Jade is one of the characters who is less fleshed out (if you'll excuse the pun) but she's still a fun and interesting part of the squad. I love that, based on Polly's understanding of trolls, instead of Jade trying to emulate the average male troll, she makes herself look like the most trollish troll to stomp through the mountainside. She really said, "I'm going to butch this place up" and did it! I also love that she's one of the only members of the squad who has a straight romance in the book.